A cliffhanger

To be honest, we were not greatly impressed by New Zealand when we arrived here, but in the meantime we were forced to adjust our opinions. After some dazzling treks up to the summits of treks nearby Mount Cook, the Nelson lakes, and the summit of Mount Taranaki, as well as our ascent on "Mount Doom", we have become believers. And even though calling ourselves extreme alpine experts would be a bridge too far, we have nonetheless learned some things about mountain climbing we would like to share with you.

1. The mountain lies.
That's right, never trust the mountain because it exists to deceive. We are being completely serious, the mountain likes to play evil games and nasty mind-tricks on you. Here's what we're talking about:

2. The New Zealand constant "0.6"
From our mathematical background, we know some universal constants such as Pi, e, etc. It now appears that there is such a thing as a New Zealand constant, according to our measurements around 0.6. It is very useful to all European travelers in all sorts of different situations. The most obvious is the exchange rate: multiply the euro amount by 0.6 to find the NZ dollar amount. Less obvious are the times posted at the beginning of a trek. If it says the mountain climb will take about 10 hours, multiply with 0.6 and expect to walk about 6 hours. We advise European travelers to rehearse their tables of six before coming to New Zealand.

3. The easy way down: helicopter hitchhiking
After our exhausting ascent AND descent at Mount Taranaki, we read a news paper article about a man that had been too scared to go back down the steep cliffs of the ginormous volcano. He called for help and a rescue helicopter was sent. He was not charged for the rescue. Do we need to state the obvious here? If only we had read that article before starting our descent we would have saved our knees from a terrible ordeal.

4. Sorry Elio, we tried.
Apparently planting a flag at the summit of a mountain is not accepted as a legal claim for expanding Belgian territory. Well played, New Zealand, well played.

5. Why on earth would one put him-/herself through a six hour gruesome climb?
At times we have wondered, but the pictures below should be self-explanatory!